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Why you didn't get my email this morning:
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Wireless edge card in my laptop: Oh my god, I've been
unplugged!
me: What? You haven't been unplugged, I'm looking
right now and you're still firmly seated.
Edge card: I'm pretty sure you unplugged me. I was
definitely unplugged, and who else would do that?
me: Look, you haven't be unplugged. [wiggles card
slightly]
Edge card: Gah! Stay away from me, mister, I'll
scream!
me: I was just doing that to prove that you're
still plugged in and you've been plugged in all this time. Your antenna was
down, but that has nothing to do with being unplugged. [raises antenna]
Edge card: RAPE! RAPE! He's raping me, someone
help!
me: Shut the hell up. First you interrupt my work
by insisting you were unplugged when you weren't, now you accuse me of rape?
Police officer: hey, what's going on here?!
Edge card: Help, this guy is raping me!
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Judge: Jury finds the defendant guilty of PCMCIA rape.
Mr. Smith, I sentence you to a term not less than 15 years in a state
penitentiary. May god have mercy on your soul.
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